Job Vacancy

We’ve all been there…

itwerewritten

This is a fantastic opportunity to join one of the country’s leading companies.

We’re looking for someone with the following qualities:

– Good organisational skills
– Works well under pressure
– Team player
– Real go-getter with bags of confidence
– Can-do attitude

Responsibilities:

– Be proficient in Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, Powerpoint)
– Answer telephone calls
– Make the coffee for the guy who makes the teas
– Be fluent in Mandarin, German and Swahili
– Understand and explain the theory of relativity to a seven year old with hieroglyphics
– Book meeting rooms
– Cure world hunger
– Gradually watch the value and size of your soul decrease until we have complete ownership
– Correspond to emails
– Make small talk with people in the lift
– Kill them, kill them all.

We’re looking for someone with a minimum of 47 years experience. This is an unpaid 36 month internship…

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