So there hasn’t be an update on either my monologue or film script recently hence the “Open Questions” that seem to have been a little hit and miss but the response to the previous ones have been good just no comments on the latest one yet really. Don’t know what went wrong there.
But onto the topic at hand. Dear Amy. My monologue.
I managed to get some more feedback on it today after “performing” it in class (read performing as – reading out nervously). The feedback was as follows:
- Some people felt it was repetitive in parts and could be cut down so I will look at that in more detail during Draft 3.
- It needs to be reworked a little to have more of a “three-act structure” – I’m not quite sure how that is possible in something really as short as this. I mean yeah it still needs a beginning, middle and end, but I thought it did. I will be looking at the structure of it in a bit more depth though to see what can be done.
- More specific details in certain points – specifically when mentioning the mother being hit by the step-dad. That is a very generic dramatic image to turn to so with more details it could have more of an impact and feel truer.
- Try and put some humour into it so it isn’t one dark, depressing tale from beginning to end.
- And this is the biggy…it doesn’t work as a letter. Well, it does, but it doesn’t work in a way to be performed on stage it’d be too static but it was suggested that maybe a video would be a better vehicle for the story. And I really like that idea. The allusion for the twist can be that the woman speaking is her sister for example using lines such as “we both went through the same stuff as a child” etc.
- The problem with changing it from being a letter is I was going to have trouble keeping the title which I really like but then I figured you could start a video with “Dear Amy..” still. So now the opening lines will be “Dear Amy- Is this thing even on? Yes? Okay. Hi Amy.” that way it shows that the performance is actually supposed to be a video recording. As if it is chosen to be performed it will be on a black out stage with one or two camera’s and no props.
Keep an eye out for draft 3 in which I will implement the changes outline above as best I can and for the mean time if you want to catch up on the monologue if you missed it, or if you’d like to read it again you can find draft 2 of Dear Amy, here.