Open Question: Love at First Sight

Open question is something I’d like to try to get the thoughts and opinions of my followers on a subject and allow us to talk and debate etc. If you remember way back when I wrote an article that spoke about my opinions on God and it sparked a lot of debate in the comments and it was always very thoughtful and calm and respectful so I know you guys are up that etc. Let me know what you think – you think this is a good idea? would you be willing to take part? would you do something similar on your own blog?

This weeks Open Question: Love at first sight.

Is love at first sight something you guys believe in? Is it truly possible to look upon someone and think to yourselves “I love her”. I mean if love at first sight was a true thing surely we’d run the risk of falling in love with people left, right and centre as we walk down the high street. If that was the case life would be very complicated because that’s what love is.

It’s complicated, and it’s beautiful, and heart warming, and heart breaking. It’s neccessary to feel human, at least that’s my opinion.

So if we don’t walk down the high street falling for the ladies and gents we pass our glances over what truly classes “love at first sight” maybe it would be better to be love at the first “Hey” because the tone and inflection of someones voice could hold something that you love. As their mouth moves and the airwaves reverberate over your ear drums and your heart begins to pound like it too is drum.

What about love at first contact? The first hand shake, the first hug, the first time you bump into someone at high school who up until that point you didn’t realise was there and then you always see them from that day forth?

It could also be eye contact, eyes are windows to the soul, or some people believe (Fun Fact: The blog name Words Form Windows comes from this saying as the full title of the blog would be Words Form Windows to the Heart, Mind and Soul). Do you believe you could look into someone’s eyes, and I mean truly look into them, make complete unwavering eye contact and see something there that you’ve never seen in someone else ever in the history of your entire being? Would that lead to feelings of love or would you just be “taken” with someone, “smitten” with them.

Would love be thinking of someone all day every day wishing you could be with them and hold them as much as they wanted?

I think it will be interesting to see what people think of this, let me know in the comments.



24 thoughts on “Open Question: Love at First Sight

  1. I believe in lust at first sight–certainly attraction. There are many different kinds and depths of love. I think lust can easily and quickly grow into true love and, if you are lucky and right for each other, lasting love.

    1. Thanks for the response, I guess that’s what logically people would agree with because there could just be something alluring about someone and once you start speaking to them you realise that you’re pretty similar and quite good for each other. I like the idea of lasting love it’s comforting to know it’s out there once it’s found (:

      1. Next month we celebrate out thirtieth anniversary. It is out there, Daniel. Love changes, and if people can adjust, give and take, grow together instead of apart, then it can last a lifetime. Best wishes.

  2. I believe in it, but it’s circumstantial. You have to be in a situation in which it can occur. Simply seeing somebody doesn’t work. Eye contact, body language, and sub-verbal communication must be able to pass between you. And there’s a vast difference between chemical attraction and love-at-first-sight! The chemistry may or may not last, but if love isn’t even an element at the outset, then it has very little chance. In love-at-first-sight cases, there’s that little thrill that passes through you whenever you see the person – and it never goes away. And there’s an innate shyness, too. Not difficulty communicating – that’s contrary to love. That perfect partner is the person you could spend a lifetime talking with, but who you can also share comfortable silences with.

    1. In this modern era of social media how do you think that relates? Would you say the thrill you get from seeing someone could transcend the physical and come into the digital. Every time they pop up on Facebook, they Tweet you, when you get a text from them. If you’re heart begins to race when you think of them that would be the same right?

      Shyness how? By just being self-aware around them? Because it’s all so new and exciting for both parties? And yeah comfortable silences are also a must, being able to just lie there with someone and kind of just “be”, that lends itself well to the concept of love I believe.

      Thanks for your response!

      1. I don’t know that it can exist in the digital world, especially without a webcam contact. Sadly, it’s far too easy for the clever fraud to fit themselves into the image of a desirable personality. It’s proven far too often that they can use words and “tones” that will attract the unwary. If a relationship develops through casual social media contacts, it is still outside the idea of “at first sight”.

        Shyness because we all have that little voice that tells us that we don’t deserve this wonderful, perfect person, that we’re not worthy. So there’s that tinge of fear that we might somehow reveal something that will “burst the bubble”.

        I think it’s an interesting subject, so have to thank YOU for asking the question 🙂

        1. Ah so you believe the “sight” bit is key. What of this then, someone you meet through social media you start to get on really well with then you meet them in real life for the first time. Do you believe that’s the same thing or would it be some form of hybrid considering you already have preconceptions from seeing them online through both text and Skype?

          Your definition of the shyness factor is very interesting as it closely relates to previous and current experience I guess I’ve just never thought of the right words before to vocalise it. Bursting the bubble is something I guess everyone can relate to you because most people have one weakness, one flaw that they don’t like in themselves and letting that show to the other person could indeed burst the bubble, but if the bubble remains intact that’s only a good thing right?

          Glad you find it interesting (:

          1. Yes, the “sight” element is key, I think. The scenario you suggest is indeed a hybrid, being more a “developed love” situation. It’s also more fraught with the danger of the reality failing to fulfill the expectation. I honestly believe that it has to begin in “reality” and grow from there, even if the first meeting is but a fleeting moment and the subsequent contact is “virtual”.

            Certainly, the relationship MUST survive the bubble being burst. If the other person can view you honestly, seeing all your quirks, however “disagreeable” some may be, and still feel the same about you – then that IS love, in its finest, most precious form 🙂

            1. That’s a great view it’s nice to know that romance can take all various shapes and forms 😀

              Indeed, if the bubble burst wasn’t survivable it just wasn’t meant to be after all (:

              1. That’s one of it’s greatest aspects 🙂

                Thankfully, my personal bubble burst has so far survived for over 32 years of marriage LOL.

                Thanks for the chat – it’s been very interesting 🙂

  3. Love grows over time – I have to put this qualification. It is a product of being together, getting to know one another, the work that comes with relationships, the experiences you share.

    That said, I do believe in love at first sight. I don’t mean sexual desire, attraction, or lust. That’s part of it – I mean, it’s there. But it is possible to make an almost instant, intense, deep connection with a person. It can be a look in her eyes – you know – when you suddenly feel like you need to hold onto something to keep from falling; a facial expression – that tells you in an instant what a person is like, what is important to her; it could be how she carries herself – even the sound of a voice – that is safe and familiar even though you’ve never heard it..

    The reason I say this is not *just* sexual interest, is that it doesn’t happen most of the time. I’ve experienced this kind of connection a couple of times in my life. (Yes … more than once.)

    Sight unseen is harder because it’s not instant. And because some of us take a lot from visual cues. But it’s also possible to fall in love with someone’s words.

    All of this is fragile, and can be burst instantaneously – but that doesn’t take away from the experience itself.

    1. I love the idea of needing to grasp on to something to stop you from falling. It’s amazing how a something as small as a look from a romantic interest can make you feel like you need to fall down on your knees.

      I’ve never been sure of the idea of love at first sight I like to think it exists as it allows certain feelings to be explained without being as confusing. Someone’s voice being safe is definitely something I know where you’re coming from. Certain voices when you here will just calm you and provoke emotions.

      Thanks for commenting (:

  4. Love at first sight is real.

    I saw her walking up the stairs from above. I didn’t see her face or her eyes, just her hand as it grasped the rail, but something in that moment mesmerised me. I got up the nerve to speak to her a few hours later and the chemistry was palpable. It took nearly two years before we became a couple and lasted just as long. She was my first love and my first heartbeak. I will never forget that first moment. It was more than 30 years ago and it was without a doubt, love at first sight.

  5. I don’t know about love at first sight but the first time I met my former husband in passing he and I were both in stable relationships with other people and we barely said two words to one another but my best friend remarked ‘that is the man you’ll marry’ at the time I laughed but three years later I did marry him and we were together for over twenty years.

    On the other hand I fell in love with my present partner through writing. we arranged to meet after talking on and off online over several years but because he was so self conscious he wouldn’t let me see any pictures of him until the day before we were due to meet and only then because I pointed out that I would never find him on Leeds Station without some idea who I was actually looking for. That was in March 2009 and we’ve been together ever since.

  6. I don’t believe in love at first sight. Love requires knowledge of a person, deep knowledge, you have to know their flaws and embrace those along with their talents. I do believe in Lust at first sight, this being a powerful form of that instant recognition mentioned in another comment.
    I met my husband online. We’ve been together 4 years now and this is the healthiest, most positive relationship I’ve ever had.
    Despite this experience I would like to say that words are not the person. When we write we have the time to reflect back the best of ourselves, or simply veil the worst, and in the rosey glow of attraction we can reform our personalities into something far more acceptable. You cannot do that face to face. I’m not necessarily warning of deception, just that it’s easy to meld yourself into something that someone wants rather than be bold and state an opposing point.
    So I would say that ‘thrill’ of tweets etc is likely to be an extension of lust if you haven’t met that person yet.

    1. Lust implies being sexual though, with me I was just aware of something about them. It was a strange case I saw them once in a class of mine they weren’t supposed to be on and in fact were supposed to be in a class with my then girlfriend. I added her on FB and we’ve only just started talking recently properly but in the 2 and half weeks since talking we’ve spoken all day every day through texts/skype/facebook etc and there’s just something about her but as with all things worth fighting for there has been a lot of complications etc.

  7. I’d heard of love at first sight but until it actually happens to you, it’s a bit difficult getting your head around the concept because we’re taught that love takes time to happen, develop, etc. When I met my first wife, yeah, it hit me – she had my heart when she smiled at me – and I knew, somehow that it was really love.

    Later, it happened again; I met a lady friend for the first time in person and – POW! – it was both lust and love (I was old and smart enough to understand the differences) but, again, when we shook hands, I knew which was the stronger emotion hitting me like a ton of bricks.

    Where I might have questioned it the first time it happened to me, I didn’t question it the second – or even the third – time it happened. I didn’t bother trying to figure out if it was lust, love, or both – I just accepted the fact that it was how I felt .

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