Dear Amy, (Draft 1)

IMG_20130122_195553Dear Amy, (stylised with the comma) is a 5 minute monologue I have been tasked to write for my screenwriting module this semester (along with my script report). I got the brief this morning and have just finished what is the very first rough draft.

I hope you all like it and the little mini-twist at the end. Please feel free to leave any feedback you have for me in the comments!

Dear Amy – Monologue

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7 thoughts on “Dear Amy, (Draft 1)

  1. Daniel, I thought this monologue was brilliant just as it is. The emotions come through very well, very raw and open. And I admit I didn’t see the end comming. Bravo!

    You can tell from my usual critiques and notes that I am not one to heap meaningless praises just to be nice. I can be a right bastard when taking apart a script. I can still have a go at it to really rip into it, but I don’t see that as necessary. This monologue carried me right through to the end. It speaks to the faults and weaknesses that we all experience, the highs and lows of life and the spirit to keep on going no matter what.

    I’m sure this could be polished and tweaked, but for my money, I wouldn’t change a word.

    1. Thanks a lot, I wouldn’t say right bastard just very critical but that’s a good thing! This is why I turned to blogging for feedback over my class because no-one in my class would feel comfortable saying “this is what’s wrong with it, this is how I personally would change it”. Blogging has taught me to do that so in comparison to the others in my class I must seem like a bastard myself because I’m honest and truthful with them.

      I am very glad you like it, I will refine it of course a few more times before I hand it in for a bit of feedback from my tutor. Hopefully it will be picked and performed/recorded in April.

  2. Good stuff Daniel. Works quickly down into the depths, and climbs back out with strides of hope. You can tell the writer knows the addressee well with all the detail, which makes sense at the end. Good detail and tone throughout.

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