Year 1 – Creative Writing: Opinion Piece – Football Sucks

Ryan Valentine scores the goal that keeps Wrex...
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Here is something I wrote in first year Creative Writing in the module I did called Writing For Commission, not sure how good this piece is, I’d like to think I have improved over the last year, but anyway, here is the piece.

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I think football sucks. There, I said it. At least the stuff we see on television anyway, what joy do people get from sitting around and watching that rubbish? It is just men running around, sweaty man I shall add.

If you want to play football and have a kick about down the park that is fine by me, sports are a good way of exercise and we all know exercise is good for us, contrary to what people may say, we call them people “lazy”. Exercise, team work, the social factor of it all, I get that, I honestly do. But not sitting around on our backsides in a pub or your front room getting wasted and shouting at the television. But wait, there’s more.

The wages, oh the wages. What footballers are paid is ridiculous, I think it shows a lot about the greed of mankind when someone who does not do a worthwhile job can get paid more than a doctor for example. You then hear stories in the news about the footballers just going out to parties, spending their money on drugs and buying high class prostitutes with it. They do not deserve that amount of money if they won’t do anything productive with their “hard earned” cash. My father earns just under thirty thousand pounds a year for being a social worker when professional footballers earn way more than that in a week. Ask yourself, where has morality gone?

Another thing football is known for is causing fights and city wide riots, people need not get so uptight and worked up about it. Your team lost did it? Deal with it! This shows a lot about human nature, our built-in instinct to win and succeed at something. It proves that when this instinct is not fulfilled, when it is not satiated, something within us breaks. It snaps and unfortunately this “snapping” can ruin a perfectly good day.

I have a friend that is so in to his football, it will come on in the pub when we are all out and he will just zone out and we will have to repeat ourselves numerous times to even get a primitive grunt out of him. And if his team lose? You better back off as he will become rather nasty and will be in such a sulk all day.

When a persons team lose a meaningless game it can cause so much violence. Best mates will fall out just because they support different teams, these are people that may have known each other for the majority of their life and they fall out over nothing. Meaningless fights over a meaningless game. These fights at the stadiums and the pubs and in the streets waste precious police time and money and if anyone gets hospitalised they take up a bed that could have been free if it was not for this sport. People will usually say, “In my defence I was wasted, I had had too much to drink.” This is no excuse though, if you get like that when you drink…just do not drink, it is that simple.

If I was the prime minister of our supposedly “Great” Britain this is something that would be changed almost immediately, after the more serious stuff like the war of course. The first thing would be to cancel football matches altogether. I know this unrealistic but so is me being prime minister. In a more realistic effort I would just put a huge tax on professional sport players wages, using that tax for public services, or donate it to a wide range of charities. Possibly invest in the battle for climate change. Then I would pass a law along the lines of, “Violence at a sporting event”, the punishment would be a hefty fine and hours upon hours of community service. Although gouging their eyes out would be more appropriate so they could not watch football again.

Rant. Over.

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